Yes, I’m 43 and Pregnant

By Jennifer Schultz for MommyBrief.com

I am expecting. I am elated, excited and maybe somewhat in shock. I am mostly a planner in my busy family and work world. That’s not to say that I am so organized that all my closets are impeccably designed or that I have labels in my food pantry or even that my towels are color coordinated. But, I try to make decisions that involve forethought and understanding on how those decisions will affect our family. I now have to figure out how to run a small business, handle a teen going to college, navigate my elementary child’s schedule and pamper a new baby who is fast on the way.

I try to be that mom who is always involved in my children’s activities at school, planning fun parties for them, being there for them when they have their head in the toilet and when they are excited to get good grades in school. I had my first child when I was 25, just about a year after I was married. It kind of went like this: got married, bought a house, had a baby and my hubby started his own business. Then we worked really hard to get out of the city and move into the suburbs – so new house, new baby. My second child arrived when I was 34. Yes, my children were 9 years apart. And it worked. Trust me, they still fight like they are 2 years apart.

And now I am expecting my third child, at 43. I don’t have a problem with it. But, it seems that some people do. In fact, it is the number one thing I am asked when I say that I am pregnant. I don’t care if anyone knows my age, but, it’s the disapproval that comes with their tone. Does anyone remember it’s not nice to ask a woman her age? I am asked so often that I almost want to ask back, “how old are — you?” I am not sure if people realize that they are doing it, or even that it could potentially bother me.

Are they asking out of concern? Or do they disapprove? Maybe it’s a choice they would not make themselves and they are projecting it on to me. Maybe they are concerned about all the risks. So much has changed with healthcare and technology in the last 5, 10 and 20 years. And no, I am not an over 40 celebrity with tons of money and nannies at my disposal. But it does not matter. I am a good mom. I take care of myself and plan on living until I am 95. So that means my youngest would be 52 then. (wink, wink)

I’ll share a piece of advice when talking to an expecting mom, which I know in my heart is coming out loud and clear from my grandmother, the only thing that you should be saying is “Congratulations!” It does not matter whether you approve or not. Human life is a miracle, and a new mom does not need the added stress of negative thoughts. Whether it is a teenage mom, a mom who has 6 other children, or an over 40 mom like me.

What happened anyway to 40 being the new 20? Yes, I am 43 and pregnant.